Advanced relational peace technique

In the core course, we teach a simple and effective technique for making peace. Here we’ll look at an advanced version to go deeper into this peace process. Here’s a reminder of the goals of this technique:

• making peace with the death of a loved one (grief)
• making peace with someone who has wronged you or with whom you’re in conflict
• making peace with an abstract concept like time, money, authority, etc.
• making peace with someone you love, but with whom you’ve built up some frustrations. This is a technique to use regularly to free yourself of all the irritants that accumulate when you live with the same people for a long time (partner, children, friends). It helps clear your heart of its little grudges, so it stays wide open to welcome the people you love most in the world.

The basic technique for guiding this process can be summed up as follows:

• you guide the induction into trance
• the guided person imagines themself next to their tree, in a natural landscape
• the guided person brings in the person they want to make peace with
• you have them visualize the bond that connects them: “what is the link that connects you to this person? Is it a rope, a chain, a beam of light… maybe at the level of the belly, the neck, the arm or somewhere else?”
• you encourage the guided person to say to the other person “I forgive you” or “I forgive you for myself” (when it’s a harder forgiveness). It’s preferable that this be said out loud
• you encourage the guided person to say to themself “I forgive myself”. It’s preferable that this be said out loud
• you ask the guided person to cut the link that connects them to the other person. For example: “how could you cut this cord that unites you? With a knife, a saw, maybe by tearing it off…”. This cord symbolizes a bond of attachment that can hold all sorts of leftover debris from the relationship. It’s generally preferable to remove it. To open the guided person up to this possibility, tell the metaphor: “when a mother gives birth to her baby, it’s important to cut the cord that is no longer needed. It doesn’t cut the love between mother and child; instead it gives each of them the freedom to live this new life together, better.”
• once the guided person has cut the link, forgiven the other person and forgiven themself, you can suggest an exchange of imaginary gifts. The guided person might very well offer a pair of eagle wings and receive the moon in exchange: anything is possible. This exchange is optional. It’s normal for a guided person who has been the victim of serious acts not to wish to offer a gift, even an imaginary one, to their aggressor
• the return from trance, or continue with other techniques if relevant

Peace is an evolving process. This technique helps move toward complete peace. Sometimes you reach that ideal; other times you make progress without fully reaching it.

The basic technique taught in the introductory course to the Méthode Dolfino is effective, simple and easy to learn. It greatly improves the quality of relationships for those who put it into practice. That’s why it’s one of the first ones we teach. If you’ve never experienced it, I strongly encourage you to learn it and try it out.

For those who have gained a bit of experience with the basic technique, here now is the advanced version. The goals are the same, but we go much deeper.

The advanced Relational Peace technique

Let’s start by giving ourselves a vision of the intended ideal, from the guided person’s point of view. To keep things simple, let’s give a name to the person to make peace with, “Rémi”.

“I feel perfectly good with Rémi, and I imagine him in perfect health, wonderful and perfectly happy to be with me.”

This is an ideal: not always possible. If Rémi was violent, if he betrayed or abused, it will be possible to move closer to it without necessarily reaching it. Every step toward peace is a success; Rome wasn’t built in a day.

We’re going to combine the Relational Peace technique with the Scanner, and introduce the “life creator” technique.

• you induce trance
• you suggest going to a beautiful place in nature, near a tree “that resembles you in some way” (you can have the tree made more beautiful: always a good idea)
• you ask Rémi to come
• you have the bond symbolized
• you ask the question, in your own words: “at the thought of forgiving Rémi, for everything he said, everything he did, everything that happened… what does that say inside? Maybe you feel like it shouldn’t be there, or that it’s not that important, but does it say a strong “yes”, or is there something there: sadness, anger, frustration…?”
• most of the time, the guided person will say there is “something”. You handle it with the Scanner technique: have the felt emotion symbolized, remove the symbol and replace it with something beautiful (light, rainbow, etc.). Detailed reminder at the end of the article
• once the symbol is handled, ask the same question again: “now, at the thought of forgiving Rémi, for everything…”. Handle every symbol until the guided person is completely at ease saying “I forgive you”
• do the same with: “at the thought of forgiving yourself, for everything you said, did, everything that happened… what does that say inside?”. Handle it until “I forgive myself” is said with ease
• ask the guided person to handle the bond, as in the base script. The bond is removed; any holes, if there are any, are filled in nicely. The guided person and Rémi are free.
  Say the bond was a rope: the guided person will tend to get rid of it carelessly, like trash. To encourage healthy habits in the inner world, ask them to recycle the rope: bury it so it becomes compost, throw it into a volcano, etc. This gesture tells the “young me” that the change is permanent
• another important aspect: the vision of Rémi. Ideally, imagine Rémi perfectly healthy, handsome, heart wide open. If peace has been made, the guided person will choose to see Rémi’s deeper nature, beyond the wounds. Ask: “When you look at Rémi, what isn’t as beautiful, as healthy, as it could be?” Symbols will often appear on Rémi (projections from the guided person). Encourage the guided person to help Rémi by freeing him from anything standing in the way of his happiness. The inner vision transforms, making a healthier relationship possible in real life
• depth tests (use your judgment; avoid in a context of violence):
  • “If Rémi comes toward you, how does that feel inside?” (handle symbols as needed)
  • “At the thought of hugging Rémi, what does that say inside?” (handle as needed)
  • for sensitive areas (judgment/criticism): test the element or elements most likely to have caused conflict, and handle whatever comes up, to make sure peace settles there too
  • if appropriate, push further: “at the thought of Rémi coming closer, holding you in his arms, and the two of you quietly becoming one, as if you were one, for a moment… what does that say inside?” (handle it until the feeling is peaceful). This step is not for everyone
• then comes the exchange of gifts: “What is the most beautiful gift you’d like to give Rémi?”. This is a test of inner generosity. If the gift is “cheap”, there is likely still some “residue in the heart”. In the imagination, everything is possible and free; if there’s hesitation, explore what’s holding it back and handle the associated symbols, until the exchange becomes joyful and generous

In the end, the guided person imagines being happy with Rémi, imagines Rémi happy and in perfect health, and they are free in the relationship. That’s an excellent start. During the session, you’ll likely identify the keys to peace between the guided person and Rémi. The solutions found within can often be put into action in real life: that’s important.

As the guide, pay attention to the solutions the guided person puts into place in their inner world; you can then suggest concrete actions (prescriptions, metaphorical acts) to keep cultivating peace. Don’t assume that one hypnosis session will be enough for lasting peace. The advanced technique allows for a deep clean, transforms how you see the other person so you can see their beauty, and clarifies the keys to a healthy relationship: solid foundations. It’s then essential to put the solutions into action and cultivate the relationship with love and respect.

Example: after a session, I saw the importance of apologizing to my father for certain things I’d done. I created a moment of intimacy and apologized. That would have been difficult without the advanced technique beforehand, and the peace settled in more deeply because I took concrete action in real life. It’s healthy for our inner and outer worlds to be in harmony.

A few notes:

• to make peace with an intangible aspect (time, money, etc.), invite the guided person to symbolize it as a living form right from the start (animal, human, etc.), then make peace with that living being
• making peace with every aspect of our lives doesn’t mean passivity: you keep the power to act; you’ll be more powerful if the action springs from a space of inner peace inspired by love and a joyful vision

Encouragement: make peace with time, money, your ancestors, your friends, your children… It’s healthy to be at peace with everything that lives in your life. This technique transforms your vision of the world so you can see more beauty and harmony in it, and see yourself in perfect health, happy to be part of it. Aho!

Reminder — the Scanner technique

In the foundational course, you learned how to do a Scanner to relieve physical and emotional pain.
If the guided person has a headache, once in trance:

“The pain in your head… what colour is it? What shape? Is it heavy or light?”

The goal is to symbolize the pain, giving it a shape so it can be released more easily. Ask the guided person to find how to release it:

“Do you want to remove it with tweezers, with your hand, maybe with a laser, or something else…”

Once the symbol is removed, ask the guided person to put something else in that spot, something beautiful to them:

“Now, what do you want to put in that spot? Maybe light, a rainbow, music… or something else?”

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